Interesting article from the <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=282&amp;entry_id=177″ title=”http://online.wsj.com/article/SB113271436430704916.html?mod=home_page_one_us” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://online.wsj.com/article/SB113271436430704916.html?mod=home_page_one_us’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>Wall Street Journal</a> about the aggressive recruiting tactics being employed by Google and the bidding wars between Microsoft, Yahoo and Google.<br />
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Apparently Google is maintaining its policy to grow the company headcount by 10 each day by offering six figure salaries, million dollar restricted stock offerings and of course the famous perks of the GooglePlex. To do this they have a dedicated contract recruitment team that is scouring universities for graduates with MSc’s or PhD’s in physics, mathematics or computing science fields to boost their engineering talent. <br /><a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/index.php?/archives/177-Google-Talent-Search.html#extended”>Continue reading “Google Talent Search”</a>

<img width=”804″ height=”475″ border=”0″ hspace=”5″ align=”left” src=”/blog/uploads/Jokes/Hillbillydogs.jpg” alt=”" />

For the fans of the Apprentice.. I present the <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=280&amp;entry_id=175″ title=”http://www.subservientdonald.com” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.subservientdonald.com’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>Subservient Donald</a>!

For those of you who live in Sydney and have put up with all the crap that has been going on with the various tunnels around the city will find this amusing - they are selling the flat that had it’s front porch fall into the gaping hole that the tunnel workers inadvertantly opened up.<br />
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<a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5kb21haW4uY29tLmF1L3B1YmxpYy9wcm9wZXJ0eWRldGFpbHMuYXNweD9hZGlkPTIwMDUyNzA4MzMmc19jaWQ9TGFuZUNvdmU6SG9tZUFsZXJ0&amp;entry_id=174″ title=”http://www.domain.com.au/public/propertydetails.aspx?adid=2005270833&amp;s_cid=LaneCove:HomeAlert” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.domain.com.au/public/propertydetails.aspx?adid=2005270833&amp;s_cid=LaneCove:HomeAlert’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>Lane Cove apartment</a><br />
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All I can say is - it’s prime real estate <img src=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/templates/default/img/emoticons/smile.png” alt=”:-)” style=”display: inline; vertical-align: bottom;” class=”emoticon” />

As reported in the <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=278&amp;entry_id=173″ title=”http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17326515-13762,00.html” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17326515-13762,00.html’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>Australian</a><br />
<blockquote><br />
AN alleged bag snatcher was arrested after he accidentally knocked himself out while trying to make a quick getaway, British police have said.<br />
The 27-year-old man saw stars after colliding with a wall as he ran from the scene of the incident in Gloucester city centre, western England, on Saturday morning.<br />
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He was taken to hospital for treatment to his injuries and charged with robbery after coming round.<br />
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“The incident occurred at around 10:15 am (1015 GMT) on Saturday November 19, when a male offender snatched a handbag from a 21-year-old Newent woman, approaching her from behind,” said Gloucestershire Police spokeswoman Zoe Young.<br />
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Advertisement:<br />
“After grabbing the bag the offender ran off but collided with a wall, knocking himself unconscious.”<br />
</blockquote><br />
Guys like this tend not to have a long criminal career - they are too fucking stupid to ever make a living out of it - or in this case not physically coordinated enough to a) snatch the bag b) escape whilst avoiding brick walls. They do say that guys can only concentrate on one thing at a time (two if they have their gaze fixed at chest height) so perhaps this poor guy just ran out of brain wattage to make good his escape. I hope he does learn quickly though as he will have to learn to a) shower b) protect his ass in jail all at the same time.

From <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=277&amp;entry_id=172″ title=”http://www.methodshop.com/mp3/articles/rejectedengraving/” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.methodshop.com/mp3/articles/rejectedengraving/’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>MethodShop</a>. They have a list of rejected engravings as well as some that have passed but possibly should not have <img src=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/templates/default/img/emoticons/smile.png” alt=”:-)” style=”display: inline; vertical-align: bottom;” class=”emoticon” /><br />
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Rejected Engravings:<br />
<ul><br />
<li>10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside</li><br />
<li>iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible.</li><br />
<li>Rip, Mix, &amp; Burn Down RIAA Headquarters</li><br />
<li>Cocaine and razor blade not included.</li><br />
<li>Lick My Shiny Metal Ass</li><br />
<li>Bad Mother Fucker (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka)</li><br />
<li>Something small &amp; white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.</li><br />
<li>I play with myself.</li><br />
<li>Steal this? Will self destruct when used.</li><br />
<li>iMasturbate five times a day</li><br />
<li>F uck Osama.</li><br />
<li>Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time</li><br />
<li>I cost more per ounce than cocaine.</li><br />
<li>Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!</li><br />
</ul><br />
These weren’t rejected but are still pretty funny.. I wonder who the iPod censor is?<br />
<ul><br />
<li>”One time at band camp.”</li><br />
<li>George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West</li><br />
<li>fatti i cazzi tuoi (make your own cocks/business)</li><br />
<li>I Don’t Do Windows</li><br />
<li>Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A</li><br />
<li>My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon</li><br />
<li>Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed</li><br />
<li>Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo</li><br />
<li>Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$</li><br />
<li>I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk!</li><br />
<li>Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null</li><br />
<li>Scratch your balls, not my metal. </li><br />
<li>Who said Apple sucks?</li><br />
<li>Now you have two little white pocket rockets.</li><br />
<li>WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set</li><br />
<li>10,000 reasons to ignore my wife</li><br />
<li>If only women’s buttons were this easy to push.</li><br />
<li>This iPod makes up for my small hard disk.</li><br />
<li>Once you go small and white…</li><br />
<li>98% Liberace-free</li><br />
<li>I’m so trendy look at my white headphones!</li><br />
<li>Size Does Matter</li><br />
<li>Musically Disturbed</li><br />
<li>Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside</li><br />
<li>Contents Under Pressure from RIAA</li><br />
<li>My other handheld is a PocketPC</li><br />
<li>CDs are for amish people!</li><br />
<li>Quarter free jukebox</li><br />
<li>FCUK WINDOWS</li><br />
<li>Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly.</li><br />
<li>I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man?</li><br />
<li>My iPod can beat up your honor roll student</li><br />
<li>Your mamma uses a walkman.</li><br />
<li>”Say hello to my little friend”</li><br />
<li>FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger!</li><br />
</ul><br />
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Here’s another one that requires a few extra brain cells.<br />
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Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.<br />
for(;;i++)d[i]=d[i]%26+65;<br />
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If you use the first line, as the input for the second line. It produces the text “This music was all stolen” in plain english. ~asterisk

From <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=275&amp;entry_id=171″ title=”http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/17/jammed_printer/” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/17/jammed_printer/’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>The Register</a>:<br />
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The authorities in Arizona have charged suspected members of a criminal gang thought to be behind approximately 10% of counterfeit bills in the state after some of the members sent a printer jammed with counterfeit money for repair - obviously the brains behind the whole organisation. I wonder if they tried to claim it under warranty.. <img src=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/templates/default/img/emoticons/smile.png” alt=”:-)” style=”display: inline; vertical-align: bottom;” class=”emoticon” /><br />
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A three-month investigation by the U.S. Secret Service and the local sheriff’s office nabbed 10 suspects for crimes including forgery, weapons violations and drug charges, according to the Southwest Valley Republic. The ring of counterfeiters allegedly included two Wal-Mart cashiers who accepted the fake bills as payment for big-ticket items in order to put the faux money into circulation. The suspects would then go to a different Wal-Mart and return the items for cash, according to the news report.<br />
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The counterfeiters manufactured more than $160,000, according to officials, most of which ended up in circulation.<br />
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Many software companies and printer makers add software to their products to make copying or printing currency nearly impossible. Adobe Systems has quietly added technology to its graphics software to prevent consumers from copying and manipulating images of the world’s currency. Hewlett-Packard also ships anti-counterfeiting measures in its printers, according to privacy expert Richard Smith.<br />
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Copyright © 2005, <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=276&amp;entry_id=171″ title=”http://www.securityfocus.com” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.securityfocus.com’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>SecurityFocus</a>

Vincent Gallo, noted indie actor is offering his sperm online via his <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=273&amp;entry_id=170″ title=”http://www.vgmerchandise.com/misc.html” onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.vgmerchandise.com/misc.html’;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>merchandise website</a> for USD $1 million.<br />
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Some choice quotes:<br />
<blockquote><br />
Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr. Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm itself.<br />
</blockquote><br />
Soooo… you can opt to get laid by Mr Gallo for USD $500,000, but if you pass certain criteria (I’m assuming that it is for women only given that you would be doing this to concieve his child) he’ll waive that fee and just charge you the USD $1 million.<br />
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For that US $1 million you will get his sperm that may or may not have his characteristics as follows.. <br />
<ul><br />
<li>Multi-talented in the creative fields (I had not even heard of this guy before!)</li><br />
<li>Naturally gifted athlete in baseball, football (assuming American rules), hockey and motorcycle racing</li><br />
<li>Tall - 5′11″</li><br />
<li>Hung like a horse</li><br />
<li>Full head of hair with few grey ones</li><br />
</ul><br />
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He does have a few restrictions on who can get his sperm though - you can’t have a dark complexion (ie black). However, it’s not all bad news as you can get a $50,000 discount if you can prove that you are the following:<br />
<ul><br />
<li>The mother has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes</li><br />
<li>Direct family link to any of the German soldiers of the mid-century</li><br />
<li>The mother is Jewish - apparently there is a higher chance of favourable reviews/chances of winning an Oscar if you are Jewish…</li><br />
</ul><br />
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I think someone has tickets on himself..<br />
</blockquote>

Two programmers have ported Doom to an iPod nano. Before you rush out and download it, it will require iPodLinux on your nano. Seems that programmers around the world have taken to the challenge of porting Doom to every platform available.<br />
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From <a href=”https://dave.shakenmartini.net/serendipity/exit.php?url_id=272&amp;entry_id=169″ title=”http://www.ipodobserver.com/story/24265″ onmouseover=”window.status=’http://www.ipodobserver.com/story/24265′;return true;” onmouseout=”window.status=”;return true;”>iPodObserver</a>